Be yourself

“God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him...”
Genesis 1:27
If that is true, then God, or Gods (because in Hinduism you have crores of gods) must be very much like humans. That is the basis for the following write-up, which is totally intended to be interpreted with a sense of humour. It is in no way blasphemous, nor is it intended to hurt the feelings of any community.
For more information about Durga Puja, click here.

Durga was sitting in her dressing room, getting ready for her journey to her father's home. She was humming to herself as she lined her beautiful eyes with a black eyeliner. Having finished it, she opened her bottle of mascara and applied it to her long eyelashes. She was just coating the lower eyelid of her third eye when Lakshmi came in.
“Ma,” she said, “can I borrow your mascara if you have finished with it? Yours is by Sabyasachi, mine's by Tarun Tahiliani, and I so love Sabyasachi's creations...I so wish we had a designer like that in Kailash...”
“You can take it,” said Durga airily. “But don't call me Ma. I hate being called Ma. It makes me feel...”, she searched around for a word, “...feel...so old! And all these humans. Ma, ma, all the time. Even those seventy-year olds have to call me their mother. They don't know how to treat a woman.”
“What's your age, Ma?”, Ganesh asked as he peeped into the room.
Durga flared up, but when she saw who it was, she softened a bit. Her youngest son was her darling. “Ganu, darling, you should know better than to ask a woman her age.”
“You can't be very young, Ma,” Ganesh contended. “You have four grown-up children.”
“That's true”, lamented Durga. “Look at you four. Grown up in no time...”
“They even call me 'Ma',” sniffed Lakshmi.
“And me too,” piped in Saraswati as she entered the room. “Ma, I'd like to borrow your nail polish.”
“Take it,” Durga said, “And don't call me Ma.”

The sisters Lakshmi and Saraswati were in the room they shared. Lakshmi was trying on her new sari. She turned and twisted in front of the mirror.
“Does this make me look fat?”, she asked her sister.
Saraswati didn't even look up. She was playing her veena for one last time before it was to be packed into its case for their journey to their grandfather's home. “No,” she said in a bored voice. Momentarily she looked up.
“EEK!”
“What?” Lakshmi spun around.
“Black nailpolish? Black?”
“Oh,” Lakshmi said. “Oh that. I was just...erm...trying out a new style. You know, trying to go Gothic.”
“Gothic!”
“What's so strange about that?”
“Lakshmi, I play classical music! And punk rock...O God!...Wait a minute, I'm a god. But then...Gothic...”, she shook her head miserably.
“And I wish they give me some good saris down there this time,” Lakshmi continued happily. “It's always the rich embroidered ones, and always the heavy gold jewellery...platinum would be cool, don't you think?”
She turned around to face her sister and saw that Saraswati looked about to cry.


Munching on his fifteenth laddoo that day, Ganesh walked into the Kailash gym. Kartik was exercising hard with the weights.
“Hi, bro”, Ganesh said.
Kartik put down his weights and turned around. He was sweating profusely.
“Eating laddoos again, huh, Ganesh?”, he said.
“Lifting weights again, huh, Kartik?”, Ganesh said in the same way.
“I have to,” Kartik said seriously. “Six-pack abs are a fad with the humans now. They would want to see my well-toned body...”
“Aha! You want to impress the girls!”
Kartik flushed a little. “Well, you already have Kalavati, in any case. And fighters must always be fit, girls or no girls,” he added.
He watched Ganesh savour his laddoo and said, “You should go on a diet, Ganesh. That belly of yours is showing worse than ever. Your rat wouldn't be able to take your weight this time”, he said, and laughed out loud.
“Watching you and Lakshmi on your diets is bad enough,” Ganesh commented.
Kartik was still laughing. “You'll need a more sturdy form of transport soon.”


In another part of Kailash, Durga was arguing with her husband.
“I don't see the point in tagging along Mahishasur's body every time”, Durga whined.
“It's a show of power, sweetheart,” Shiv said.
“And all those weapons. My arms ache so much holding them all for four long days. The humans have no compassion!”
“But you are the form of Shakti, honey. You must carry them. The humans will expect to see them in your hands, and when they see you holding them, they will gain strength from you, darling,” Shiv smiled.
Just at that moment, Durga's lion roared.
“Time to go,” Durga sighed. “I wish you were coming with us, darling,” she said to her husband.
“I'm always watching over you all, you know that,” Shiv said consolingly. He added, “But why are you so morose? You used to enjoy going to your father's home...”
“I'm not morose about going to Baba's,” Durga said. “It's just the humans. Their expectations of us. Their worship of us. It tires me. I'm always so tense. I'm always worried that we'll not be able to live up to their expectations.”
“Don't worry, Durga,” Shiv said. “Just be yourself. Or as much as you can be, with Mahishasur's body at your feet and all those weapons in your hands”, he added. "But cheer up, please, Durga."
Durga's lion roared a second time and her four children came traipsing into view. Lakshmi and her white owl, Saraswati and her white swan, Kartik and his peacock, and Ganesh and his little rat.
“Well, time to go, children,” Shiv said. “Come here, give Baba a hug.”
They all walked into his arms and hugged him.
“See you in four days, all of you,” Shiv called as they all mounted their respective animals. “And be yourself, all of you. Just because you're gods doesn't mean you have to pretend to be so much stronger and better than the humans...be yourself!”, he called as they rode out of view.

And so began the journey of Durga and her children into the land of humans. And this time, they will not pretend to be something they are not. Watch out, humans, for a Pujo with a difference.